In my defense but once again Just my opinion

Well, since i made the last note and made it "viral" I have received quite a bit of feedback. A LOT of it positive but of course you have that "rotten apple" in every group and yep it was pretty harsh. So I will once again not publish any names or share the exact message as this person does NOT need to recieve any recognition what so ever!!!

Well first off, thank you everyone for your kind words and being there! Its truly nice to know what wonderful people i have in my life! Thank you for being you!

Now for a few they say to stand tall and do it back or carry on with my life like normal....a lot easier said then done. 

definition of fear [ feer ]   

1. feeling of anxiety: an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger
2. frightening thought: an idea, thought, or other entity that causes feelings of fear
3. reverence: respect or awe for somebody or something

Now theres the definition. Now as for me I have been kicked down and stepped on in more ways then you can imagine (made me stronger) but this situation is a whole other ball game! It not only affects me but my family, (children and grandbabies included) and my friends and neighbours or anyone that associates with me. This paticular guy has put so much fear into me I am 110% afraid for my life, my families and my friends. So to stand up to him by myself not gonna happen. A few reasons are the fear I have of this "guy" and fear for what he could do to any of yous, my friends, and family! and the other reason is due to my strokes and FMS I do not have the strength nor the stamina anymore. Could I possibly take him. Maybe who knows adrenaline does funny things to a human but so does hatred (what i believe he has for me because that is the only reason someone could act this way towards another human being) But honestly I do not wish to find out!
Now onto the lovely (sarcastic) messages I received. I will answer the majority of the things that were put to me.
No I did not ask for this! Am I partly responsible (you say i caused it) maybe. Maybe trying to care about someone and make things work or "love" someone is a reason to say i am responsible. Are criminals family and friends responsible for the criminals actions? Because they know them?
You say i asked for this for leaving him! Well, there is a reason for that! Every breakdown in a relationship has its reasons. Controlling a persons every move is not a relationship. And besides he wrote me a lovely eviction notice so I left! It was not a good relationship for either of us and I def needed to leave! So in time with a bit of courage I left! Thanks to a lot of special people in my life for getting me out of there! I lost almost everything I owned and had worked my whole life for BUT I am slowly rebuilding my life once again with help from amazing people in my life new and old As for saying Its my fault because I had him charged....well in the first place I never wanted him charged I just wanted him to stop and leave me alone. That wasnt happening. He is a very intimidating "man". The police charged him once again NOT me! Do you think i wanted to have to constantly relive everything that he did and caused! HELL NO!!! Do I enjoy being in total lock down other then the rare time I HAVE to leave my home...HELL NO. Pretty bad when i have to count on others to go get my groceries for me!
So to answer one final question to this ignorant person (I truly hope you read this and feel like shit like you made me feel) NO I do not deserve any of this! I am a human being and deserve RESPECT! I am not the monster you and him are! Does someone deserve to be robbed? Does someone Deserve to be beaten? Does someone deserve to be murdered? NO to all the above so what makes you think i asked for this or deserved any of this? I would not even wish this on you or him! I truly hope you NEVER have to go thru any of this in your life time! And some day I hope the piece of ass from him that you are trying to get is worth it hunny because I am not the first one he has done this too and IF I dont stop him who will and it could be to late for the next person! And that I can not live with on my conscious!
So, on that note I do belive I will continue to write my "notes" as it does seem to releave a bit of my stress and a way to vent I guess but in a good way I know I said a few things not so nice in this one but trust me I held alot back as well!
IF you or anyone you know are in any form of an abusive relationship or going thru anything on these lines please reach out to someone you dont have to do it alone!!! And I am always willing to make new friends and help where I can!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and be there for me!!!
Much love And remember this is just my feelings and opinion :)